The adventures of an Emo-kid and his Sensei
by Cosmea-blossom
Summary: One-shot/drabble: In which Sasuke is clueless, when it comes to puberty and becoming a man. No yaoi, attempted humor. Rated for suggestions .Enjoy


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters.**

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**The adventures of an Emo-kid and his Sensei**

The night was over and the light shone slightly, but in the dark bedroom that Sasuke slept in, it didn't matter. Sasuke didn't really bother to open his eyes even though he was awake. He just needed a little more sleep. To think about … the past. 'Just this once' he thought and pulled out a piece of paper, which revealed to be a photo of team 7. And his mind went to a certain female(A/N: Pair him up with whoever you want to, my dear readers). And that is where everything just went downhill.

"OROCHIMARU!" His shout was heard through the entire hideout and it didn't take long before Orochimaru with Kabuto ran into his room. "What is it, Sasuke-kun?" Orochimaru asked with a hint of confusion. Sasuke rose from his bed and it didn't really take long for Kabuto to burst into silent laughter. In his boxers stood a slightly embarrassed Sasuke with a boner.

"You called us for such a petite reason? Ehh… not that it is _small_.. that sounded wrong what I meant was.." Kabuto trailed off feeling a bit awkward.

"So you parents never got to tell you? Eh Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke flinched, but Orochimaru continued undisturbed "And I suppose Kakashi wanted to wait.. " By now Sasuke got a tiny idea of where this was going and he didn't like it one bit. "Kabuto, you may go. This is a job for me as a teacher." Kabuto nodded and bowed slightly before exiting the room. Orochimaru sat down on Sasuke's bed and gestured him to do the same.

"So where to start" Orochimaru started thoughtful" For a boy to become a man, he has to go through changes both psychologically and.. well physically, as you may have discovered" Orochimaru looked down. Sasuke pulled his covers over his problem, since Orochimarus gaze made him feel exposed. Orochimaru just smirked. "There are solutions to your problem. And that's well, you know. - " Orochimaru stopped. Sasuke quickly grew impatient.

"No. Tell me the solutions." Orochimaru opened his mouth but shut it again. 'How can a genius be so clueless?' "Sasuke-kun. You have to release it. "

"So it's like a jutsu?" Orochimaru sweatdropped but got an idea.

"Yes it's like a jutsu, but without chakra. It's a taijutsu move, many men have mastered" Sasuke scoffed and tried to cross his leg, but his little problem just had to be reminded.

"Why would I learn a move most men can do? Seems useless"

"It's one out of two solutions.. The second.." Orochimaru hesitated "is something that requires a much longer explanation and time on your part, which-"

"Which I don't have." He finished. "Tell me what to do"

'This seems so wrong. TOO wrong for even me' Sasuke crossed his arms waiting for his answear. "I'll give it a hint.. you kinda have to massage your problem away… Sasuke-kun. And well think of something. It works if you think about the same person, that caused your problem".

"How did you know I was thinking about a person?" Sasuke glared at him coldly thinking Orochimaru spied on his brain of some sort.

"That is the most common reason for a boner, other times it just happens." Orochimaru cleared his throat. "Anyway think about that person while doing the exercise. That's all." Orochimaru rose from the bed "Now then, I'll leave you to figure out yourself. This eh.. training should be pleasuring to you, so if it hurts.. you're doing it wrong" Sasuke nodded and watched as his teacher walked out of the room before any more questions could be asked.. 'An exercise that can be pleasuring, huh? '

For quite a while the hideout was silent, until "AAAAAARRRRRGGHHHHH IT BROKE! OROCHIMARU!"

'Thank god for Kabuto's skill in medical jutsu' Orochimaru sighed.

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**!Extra! One week later**

Orochimaru was getting his daily medicine when a weird voice rang trough the hideout:

"OROCHIMARU! MY VOI_CE_!"

"Seems like Sasuke-kun hit puberty hard." Kabuto laughed, while Orochimaru feared for his sanity.

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Hope you enjoyed this little drabble/one-shot and hopefully get my humor.


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